Our very first meeting was late 2003, when his youth group and mine (from different churches) had a get-to-know-you night, as we were combining to attend a youth conference interstate in January ‘04. He was a youth group leader, but wasn’t attending the conference, and I was just a youth member.
It wasn’t until soon after this conference, when my family moved to his church, that we saw each other again. I joined the youth group and for a year I went along. The next year, 2005, I joined my friend’s youth group, as I was the oldest and only girl my age at my church’s, so I wanted to be with youth my age! So for 2 years, we were just friends, seeing each other at youth events/church every week.
Then at the beginning of 2006, I was asked to be a leader at my church’s youth group. It was an answer to prayer, as I’d felt God calling me to leading youth somehow, and I’d just said to Him, “I have no idea where or how, so You do it all!” So we went from just friends, to co-youth group leaders, with a married couple, who soon left for baby reasons! So then it was just us. During the next few months, we grew closer, and actually started dating. But it didn’t work out for a few reasons on either side, and we soon parted ways mid-‘06 in that aspect of our relationship!
Needless to say, it was a bit awkward for a few weeks, but we were too close as friends to let it come between us, that and also leading youth group together! By now, it’s late 2006, and we simply became really close friends without even considering anything more, ever again!
Skip ahead to about April/May ’07, and where my journey to this point started…
Around this time, I started to take seriously my walk with God. Not that I hadn’t already, but I started to read my Bible daily, and actively growing and developing to become a more mature Christian. I also realised that I was not ready for a romantic relationship until I was in a much better shape spiritually.
At the same time, God brought my cousin, Louise, into my life. We drew really close last year, as we both were going on my church’s mission trip to Thailand in November, as was Ben (more on this later). Louise and I opened up and shared a lot, and the love, support and encouragement I received from her, was such an amazing blessing! A part of this blessing was her introducing me to the Ludys and their ministry- the whole idea of waiting for your FH and not dating until he came along; which at that point, seemed weird and completely new to me. This is really funny when I look back, because it’s so natural to me now!!! Anyway, in January this year, I came to the point where I ‘officially’ told God that I would wait until He brought my FH into my life, and I conceded/accepted that if this was a few years down the track, or not at all, that I would be ok with that. It would be very hard, but I trusted Him and knew that only He could perfectly write my love story!
So at this point, I’ll reintroduce Ben into the story
Our church sent a team of 8 people to northern Thailand in Nov. last year, right up near the top (about an hr from the Golden Triangle, and the northern most point of Thailand). Sharing this experience with Ben allowed us to see each other (even more so) at highs and lows and out of our comfort zones (although he’d been the previous year) and such.
On the way to Thailand[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]Ok, so let’s finally get to the point!!!
So after giving God the pen of my love story, I was moving on, and never expected that any of the men in my life were ‘The One’, and even told my parents as such. Then I began to realise that I needed to develop my ‘femininity’ in encouraging the masculinity in the men around me so that one day, I’d be able to do the same for my FH. A big part of this was because I read ‘Let Me Be All Woman’ by Elisabeth Elliot- I totally recommend this book for any woman!!! So I started to do little things, like serving more (ie. make Ben coffee during Sunday arvo youth hangouts at his place!) and letting the guys be gentlemen, and me stopping being so stubborn.
Then, sometime during this period, I unexpectedly started to look forward to seeing Ben the next time, and missing being around him, and those kinds of things. It shocked me! Coz 1) I never expected to feel like this for a while yet, and 2) Not towards someone already in my life (as previously mentioned)! I didn’t say anything to anyone, but let it brew. I/we also found out that Ben has bi-polar disorder (hence the prayer request and discussion a few months back).
Then came Easter, and 5 of us from the youth group (which by now is more a young adults group- all finished school and in uni) went away to Mt Gambier, a town about 5 hours away, for the long weekend. I figured this’ll be a good test. ‘Unfortunately’, it all went great! He had a bad day one day, with some personal issues, but it only deepened my feelings for him as I wanted to take it all away for him, and to take care of him.
The weekend in Mt Gambier - it was cold!! 
[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]Interlude- it turns out that over the few months leading up to all this, Ben had started to be interested again in me, but had convinced himself that there was no chance, and that he needed to move on and be happy for me when I eventually found someone. So, when I was doing my whole ‘be more feminine’ thing, and when I was caring for him over this weekend, it was constantly bringing it up for him!
When we got back on the Monday, I told my parents about how I was feeling, as I’d promised to keep them updated/involved in my future love life, whenever it was to occur. They were a bit surprised, but very happy. On the Wednesday, I went around to his place for tea, as he lives a 2 minute walk from church and we both had worship practice that night. We had tea and a huge talk about some things he needed to talk about and I told him that we’d already been through everything we possible could together over the past few years (which we have!) and that I was still here regardless of what had happened, and that I’d still be here, regardless of what would happen. That seemed to be the clincher in his mind, that he did have chance.
As for when we officially started a relationship, there is no such actual time! It just sort of evolved! A mutual, unspoken agreement if you will. Don’t ask me to explain more, coz I can’t, there aren’t the words!
But it was roughly around the 30th March.
I left on the 17th March to Melbourne (10hrs away) for 4 wks for a teaching placement; I was staying with my uncle and aunt. This was only 2 wks after ‘evolving’! Needless to say, we spent practically every night talking either on MSN or the phone (one night we talked the whole night, literally, online… I’d heard people say they did, but didn’t realise it was actually possible!!)… and our phone bills were big this month!
I ended up calling him my e-Ben, as we were basically having an internet relationship
During these talks, we covered so many topics that need to be discussed before marriage, which we both were aware was the desired/planned outcome of this relationship!
My final week, last week, and without me knowing, Ben had dinner at my parents’ place and asked for permission to marry me. My parents said yes, and he started planning. He flew over late Sunday night, May 12, (to help me drive back on Tues) and we were planning on having a day out Monday exploring Melbourne. We ended up staying up talking all night, and at 3.35am, May 13th, Ben slipped off the couch, onto one knee, and as he held my hand, he asked if he could have the pleasure of protecting me, caring for me, serving me and loving me for the rest of our lives
Needless to say, I said yes and proceeded to almost choke him with a huge hug
I had a True Love Waits ring on my right ring finger, which he placed on my left ring finger. He also gave me a beautiful emerald cross necklace (it was a backup, just in case for some reason the ring didn’t come off, or I wasn’t wearing it, or something). We decided to let our parents sleep a bit more, and rang them at 5am instead! We then proceeded to go out on our first date (we were engaged before our first date!!) and went to McCafe for breakfast… real romantic
But it was perfect
That day, we rested in the morning, after having an all-nighter, and in the afternoon, decided to go window shopping for my ring. I’d never minded the idea of being given an engagement ring (as in, FH choose it without me) but to be able to choose mine, was a secret, little dream come true! Just one of many that God wrote in that I never minded either way, but that it was super nice that He did! And after seeing a few, and trying on a few, and cringing at how expensive some were, we found the perfect one, and bought it, with a matching wedding band at the same time, at the right price, and it even fit straight away without needing resizing!
My engagement ring[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]There is more in this period (family issues) between engagement and marriage, but that may or may not come later. But I will say, it blew over, literally, the night before the wedding, allowing us to have the perfect wedding
[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]4 ½ months later, we were married in our church, surrounded by 300 family and friends. It was a casual day, a perfect day
We were so happy with it, we wouldn’t have changed anything. We honeymooned for a week in Devonport, Tasmania – a beautiful place! And are now very happily married and back ensconced in our little flat
Our lounge room[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
