How in the world do I begin this story of the two of us? It's been a long time coming, as most of you know
Back in the fall of 2007 and I was fresh out of a nearly two year relationship with a guy that was wonderful, but just not the type of person I could grow with long term. The age between 18-20 are some of the years that you make the most changes and I found myself having to choose between this particular guy or getting to grow spiritually. After well over a year of battling this, I ended things with him and embarked on what I call 'my Holy phase'
I had bought the 'When God Writes Your Love Story' book months earlier per the recommendation of a friend but when I realized what it was asking me to do, I set it on my shelf to be forgotten about. I finally picked it up in August 2007 and started reading it, then felt led to end things with the boy I mentioned above. It was only about six weeks later, I ended up applying and getting a job at a well known international Christian ministry in their call center (I think largely due to my testimony that I had given God my dating life and was waiting for him to bring me my future husband).
That began one of the most intense periods of my entire life, as I wasn't really prepared to spend my days talking on the phone about child sponsorship. During the down time in between calls, I would spend my spare time reading my Bible or a book. I was reading WGWYLS one day when I noticed a young man sitting across the aisle from me reading another type of Christian singles book. I thought he was kind of cute and noticed that he would sometimes take the long way around to walk by my desk. This went on for a few days and then the day before Thanksgiving in 2007 (November 21st) the guy approached me and said Hi. I knew who he was because we were on the same team and I remember launching into some mini speech about how I planned on being a pastor or a pastor's wife (what in the world was I thinking that day, I'll never remember!). Jason looked at me and said "You're cool!" and then walked me out to my car since we were both off work. That began a friendship that was immediately put to the test, as I soon found out that one of Jason's close friends/cousins was battling cancer and was losing fast, despite all the prayers for a miracle. Jason and I would e-mail throughout the day at work, talking about everything, including this, and I became one of the people who knew all the details about the situation at work (Jason was intensely private about what was going on, he didn't want everyone to know at work). His cousin lost his battle to cancer just a few days before Christmas and I remember my heart aching for him and wishing I could help him somehow. My chance came on Christmas Eve when Jason needed to change a tire and needed help so that he could go pick up his Dad from the airport. I came immediately and we actually prayed that tire on the car, since it was dark outside and cold and we just couldn't see the holes outside. I remember that night so well because that was the night Jason first hugged me and it brought the rush of feelings I'd had for him since the very beginning but had been fighting off since I thought there was no way Jason could ever be interested in me. He was five years older and seemed so mature for his age. I always felt so young and immature in comparison to him, who was full of spiritual passion and who was convinced that if I did everything right, God would give me my future husband. Jason, considering the recent events in his life, didn't feel that way about his love life, and who honestly was a bit of a cynic back then. He used to drive me crazy but I somehow never could fight off the feelings I always had for him. I of course, always assumed that he never returned those feelings but Jason has told me how he always thought I was cute and always thought something would happen between us if one of us were to ever leave the company (he has a strict no dating co-workers rule for himself, which I totally understand!). He remembers how I used to leave him comics on his desk at work that reminded me of him (if any of you read Pearls Before Swine, Jason used to be just like Rat) and now he loves it.
Over the next year (2008), Jason would pull away from me as he dealt with the grief of losing someone so close to him and I felt so helpless, having never experienced such intense grief. I remember posting about it on the original Ludy forum and getting advice from them. I would experience my own spiritual crisis as well and I wound up leaving the ministry that Jason and I worked at in May because I just couldn't handle the pressure. Jason and I would talk occasionally over that year, but he was so distant because of everything he'd gone through and I was kind of a mess myself as I dealt with unemployment and just the changes one goes through as a young adult. In 2009 things began to get better for both of us, as I was finally making friends and getting through my degree like I wanted and Jason seemed to be doing better as well. I remember in was in April that Jason started talking to me again via Facebook and said that we should meet up for coffee. I was totally surprised because he'd never wanted to hang out outside of work before. It was a few weeks before we got a chance to meet up where we had a wonderful date and he kissed me. We briefly attempted to have a relationship (as most of you know) but as I got involved with my grandma's cancer diagnosis, the timing just wasn't right. Jason has apologized a million times for that day but I still don't regret it at all. During 2009, as I was grieving, I nearly rushed into marriage with someone else who just wasn't a good fit. I realized after we broke up that I was distracting myself from my grief, as my entire world was literally falling apart and I felt the need to find something happy to focus on, even if it wasn't the right person for me. I was such a mess that I am so glad God revealed to me that I shouldn't go through with the engagement, even if the guy had already bought the ring.
In 2010, I began to focus on graduation and myself and my goals. I had coffee with Jason in March and all the old feelings came rushing back and I still was convinced he didn't care for me like I did for him. I always hated the fact that no matter what I did, these feelings always came back even though I always prayed they would go away because there was no way Jason could like me. Fed up with waiting for Jason, when another guy asked me out, I said yes and began dating Johnathan in April. It was only a few days before I would become his girlfriend that Jason would ask me over for dinner and I remember giving him a long speech that said I had waited long enough and that he had his chance. Unknown to me, Jason was kicking himself for not asking me out sooner.
Two months later, I got dumped over a text message and the next day, Jason was online to see if I was okay which I thought was odd. We talked for a long while and he said I could ask him anything. Feeling brave, I asked him what he had meant by asking for me over for dinner, if it was a date or what. Jason replied by not giving me a direct answer but saying that after a few weeks had passed, we should hang out. He wanted to make sure I was completely over Johnathan before he and I hung out. We hung out a few times later that month, watching movies and it feeling SO awkward to me because I'd never seen Jason outside of work. He has a big black lab that I immediately fell in love with and I remember thinking how easily I could fit into his life.
Unknown to me, he wound up spending a large part of July and part of August praying over whether or not he should pursue a relationship with me because he knew deep in his heart that I could be the woman for him. Jason was watching Facebook to see how I was interacting with Johnathan to make sure it was really over between us (Jason had planned to ask me out on my birthday but he thought that I may not be fully over John). Of course, I didn't know this and I got fed up with waiting again. One Friday night I sent him a text message saying that we needed to talk about what was going on between us and he jokingly agreed. We agreed to meet up the following Wednesday to talk and at work that day, I instinctively knew that it could go one of two ways. Either Jason was going to tell me he never had feelings for me and that we were just friends or that he always did care about me as much as I did for him. I could literally see the scene unfolding in my head as I was working-me cooking dinner on his stove with his dog, Rolph at my feet as Jason came in the door from work. I'd always jokingly said to my friends that if Jason were to ever ask me out, I could marry him, which my friends thought was crazy.
That night, I was so nervous and could hardly talk to Jason when we hung out that night. I told Jason that I thought he had feelings for my friend because of how they talked Facebook. He said he could never do that to such a close friend (me) and especially not to someone he had feelings for and then he thought we should go on a few dates. Then he scooted over on his couch and took my hand. I was in complete shock!! I'd always been attracted to Jason because of his sense of humor and love for conservative politics and had no idea he'd ever felt that way about me. Once he told me that, he immediately made plans for a date for a few days later. He took me out to lunch and then to the park where we had a long talk and I confronted him on how he'd treated me in the past. Once he told me that was the biggest mistake he'd ever made, I felt better. After that, Jason and I began a slow relationship getting to know each other. The more time I spent with him, the more I fell for him. He was simply everything I'd been looking for. He was passionate about God and us being spiritually connected, he loved to laugh, and he loved politics more than I did, which was saying something. It was in September that he told me he didn't want to live without me and in October he told me he loved me. Once that was said and we were on the same page about where we wanted to go with our relationship, things continued to progress. We met each other's families and I noticed how easily we each fit in with the other's. Jason's best friends are his cousins and I love hanging out with them and he gets along well with my parents.
I'm so so happy. I absolutely love my man. We're so much alike, we get along so well, and we talk about everything. We have the same goals and dreams and our spiritual life is becoming stronger every week. This is the first man I've dated that I don't feel the need to change or really have to worry about anything! I also sort of had a word from God about our relationship. One morning in early September, I was dozing and I suddenly remember the chapter in one of the Ludy books when Eric approached Leslie's Dad about marrying her. Leslie's Dad responded with-I know your relationship is from God because I've seen my daughter grow closer to the Lord since she's known you. And I felt that way about Jason. He has a degree in Theology so if anything, he's the one teaching me! We learn from one another and it's just beautiful. I'm so blessed! I can't wait to be his wife!! With other guys in the past, I always looking towards the ring as the symbol..this time I could hardly care less about the ring, I just want to be Jason's wife
Nothing is official yet so PLEASE don't say anything if I'm your friend on Facebook. I still have to tell my extended family as well as actually get proposed to 
