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 Disappoinment in this forum

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PostSubject: Disappoinment in this forum   Sun Jan 03, 2010 7:45 pm

I would just like to express my disappointment that LGBT equality was banned from this forum, because she had different views than some of the mods.

It seems quite awful that a supposedly Christian forum would be so accepting of someone a little different.

I am a strong supporter of gay rights, but even if you believe them to be a sin, you should still show gay and lesbian people the love that Jesus shows everyone.

I'm not going to say anymore, because I am really angry about this.

Oh wait, just one more thing, isn't the point of a 'forum' to share different opinions about things?

- Rosalie
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stlynz

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PostSubject: Re: Disappoinment in this forum   Sun Jan 03, 2010 7:50 pm

Thank you. I wanted to say something but didn't know where to do it until I saw this.

I agree. Obviously I don't know what the mod's demands were, but I didn't see her doing anything that should have been a problem. She was no more argumentative than many others on this forum, there was no fighting, and there were good conversations.

If the problem is simply that you need this forum to avoid controversy and have everyone think alike, you have that right, but I wish you would say it right off the bat.
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SuedeKnight

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PostSubject: Re: Disappoinment in this forum   Sun Jan 03, 2010 8:26 pm

In the interest of fairness, I would like to hear what exactly the Admin's reason(s) were for the ban before putting in my two cents. There may well be "problems" that we haven't seen for a reason (posts removed before we saw them, etc.).
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PostSubject: Re: Disappoinment in this forum   Sun Jan 03, 2010 8:28 pm

i posted the admins reasons, but my post was deleted sorry. apparently the reasons are a big secret. hope you read this post quick, or they might delete it also...
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stlynz

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PostSubject: Re: Disappoinment in this forum   Sun Jan 03, 2010 8:44 pm

Suede - I agree, I'd like to see their reasons. Over-moderation killed the last forum I really enjoyed. They banned a friend of mine because they didn't like what she said, consistently blocked threads where good conversation was happening, and refused to give the other members a choice in the matter or even the reasons for their decisions. I sincerely hope the mods of this forum prove that they care about the members of this forum more than that and will let us in on the situation.
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PostSubject: Re: Disappoinment in this forum   Sun Jan 03, 2010 8:55 pm

The moderators were all chosen democratically and with prayer. They all were work together to make leadership decisions. Please respect this and that they are looking out for the forum's best interests. They can't please everybody with the choices they make, but they do the best they can in the decision-making process to be fair and Godly.
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stlynz

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PostSubject: Re: Disappoinment in this forum   Sun Jan 03, 2010 8:59 pm

I do respect them. That doesn't mean there shouldn't be accountability. The President of the US is also elected, that doesn't mean I don't expect him to answer to the people he governs. No one is rebelling, we'd just like some information. If that's against the rules, I'm sure the mods will tell us so.
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PostSubject: Re: Disappoinment in this forum   Sun Jan 03, 2010 9:02 pm

i can't even find out what rules LGBTequality broke.

i'm sad, i thought i had finally found a good place to talk about stuff, now i realise it kind of isn't...
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PostSubject: Re: Disappoinment in this forum   Sun Jan 03, 2010 10:01 pm

First of all, we're sorry if some of y'all think we overstepped our bounds as the mods of this forum. While we knew this may upset some of the members, we did not think it would be because we didn't have the power to do so. If you have have concerns about the mod leadership or authority of this forum, please feel free to PM any of the mods or the Admin account. (To refresh your memory the Sr. Mods are Heidi and Brittany. The Mods are Larissa, Linz, and Katy.)

Lisa (LGBTequality) was not simply banned on a whim. There was much discussion, prayer, and viewing this from different sides by all of the mods. We decided first to send her a "warning" of sorts. A while back, it was voted on by the members of this forum that this is a to be a community of believers purely for encouragement in our walks with Christ. Because the average age of our members has decreased by a bit recently, we have tried to be more careful in the kind of content that is posted. Some of our members are at a place in life where they are still naive and innocent about many things of the world and very impressionable. We did not want to be responsible for stripping them of some of their innocence, as it is not our place to decide when they will learn about some of these things. Because of this, we asked Lisa to refrain from discussing certain topics. Her signature was also disabled and she was asked not to re-enable it until further discussion.

In response, Lisa re-enabled her signature and said that if we are not going to allow her to express her opinions about homosexuality, then we should just ban her. Hence, that is what was done.

Please realize that this was not just done because we do not all agree with her views. It was done merely for the protection and innocence of some of our members. Not all parents would be okay with their children being subjected to certain views at a young age. While it is important for everyone to understand and being willing to hear views other than own, it is not our place to decide when this will happen. We do not wish to become a forum that Christian parents do not feel comfortable allowing their pre-teen and teenage children being a part of.

Again if you disagree with our actions and/or have concerns, please feel free to send a PM.
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PostSubject: Re: Disappoinment in this forum   Sun Jan 03, 2010 10:11 pm

Could the mods please publish a list of banned topics?

Lisa never posted anything that was inappropriate. She never (as far as i saw anyway) posted graphic homosexual content, she merely talked about their rights. If parents want to protect their children from knowing that homosexuality exists, I presume that they would do so by not allowing them contact with the outside world (ie not letting them use the internet).

I really don't understand how her saying that women are often disadvantaged, and that is wrong, is 'stripping children of their innocence'.

And if we are really going to go down that path, then people should also not be able to talk about domestic violence, sex, porn, or any number of topics that currently everyone else is allowed to express their opinion about.
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PostSubject: Re: Disappoinment in this forum   Sun Jan 03, 2010 10:26 pm

Rosalelee wrote:

Lisa never posted anything that was inappropriate. She never (as far as i saw anyway) posted graphic homosexual content, she merely talked about their rights.

She did post inappropriately, but it got deleted straight away.

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Rachel
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PostSubject: Re: Disappoinment in this forum   Mon Jan 04, 2010 8:05 am

I saw the post that Sparkling is referring to before it got deleted. While it is a topic I don't have a problem talking about to my contemporaries, I thought it was wholly inappropriate for some of the younger members of the forum, especially as it was put on one of the open sections. If I was a mother of a 15 year old, I would not have wanted her to read it. It was not only an inappropriate comment, but it was phrased quite graphically.
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PostSubject: Re: Disappoinment in this forum   Mon Jan 04, 2010 1:04 pm

Since we have such an array of members from different backgrounds and ideals and ages and maturity levels, do you think maybe it would be appropriate to have a section labeled "Mature Content."

I think that there are probably many people on this forum, whether lurking or not that would like to discuss topics of a mature or controversial nature. I guess what I mean is that we shouldn't be afraid to discuss things like that. What is it hurting if we lay it on the line that this IS a mature topic, or it IS a controversial topic that some may find offensive or uncomfortable.

I guess maybe talking about things of that nature doesn't scare me- I know where I stand with God and I can muddle through things. I don't think it's necessarily good to put up walls and and cover mouths and say "ohhh we don't talk about THAT!" Why? It's out there whether we talk about it or not. And I don't know what "It" is. It's anything I guess: homosexuality, abortion, sex, drugs, divorce, abuse, clothing whatever.

That's just my two cents.
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PostSubject: Re: Disappoinment in this forum   Mon Jan 04, 2010 2:11 pm

Philippians 4:8 "Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things."

I think the point is not the topics themselves but the way in which they are discussed. If I remember correctly, this forum, as well as the original Authentic Girl and Setaprt Life forums, was established as a safe haven for brothers and sisters in Christ who desire to live the set apart life. It was designed to be a place that fosters and encourages spiritual growth. Delving into more mature topics is certainly part of that growth, but there is an appropriate way to do that. I know I'm preaching to the choir here because I fail at this more often than not, but there is an appropriate and god-honoring way to discuss these sensitive topics. They must be approached with gentleness and grace and modesty. They must be approached in the light of Philippians 4:8. We are called to set our minds on the things of God, not the things of this world so in discussing these sensitve topics we must approach them with dignity. I think that's the point. These topics aren't over the heads of younger members, but we must approach the topics in a way that will not offend or cause younger members to stumble. I know I struggle with this as much as, if not more than, the members of this forum and will try to heed my own advice, but I think this is the core of the issue: do we seek to honor God in our discussions or ourselves and our own agendas? Are our conversations causing unnecessary division and tearing down individuals or are we seeking to create unity and building each other up, encouraging each other toward godliness? These are questions that I need to ask myself more often! But I think they are at the core of this issue.
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PostSubject: Re: Disappoinment in this forum   Mon Jan 04, 2010 3:40 pm

MDD - I've PMed you.

I know I would certainly be classed on the more liberal end of the spectrum here and I think most people know that I don't have a problem talking about controversial or mature topics. So yes, I certainly agree that we shouldn't shy away from issues just because it isn't what we think Christians might talk about.

However, I agree with Musicgirl that it depends on how they are talked about. I have plenty of non-Christian friends I can talk to if I want; here I appreciate the fact that the majority of people are trying to have a godly view on life and it's that that I don't think should be compromised for total freedom of speech or participation.
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PostSubject: Re: Disappoinment in this forum   Mon Jan 04, 2010 4:15 pm

I agree with that as well. I also think that the forum needs to define what they mean by Christian/Godly viewpoints here. I think we're ALL trying to live Godly lives. If this isn't an open Christian forum but is going to be limited to a specific type of Christian, I think for at least a few of us it's just a matter of time before we're banned too and we should probably determine that now before it turns into a conflict. I want to stay, but I don't want to have to pretend I agree with the ultra-conservative viewpoints that seem to be the majority here, and I also don't want to have a lot of drama down the line.
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PostSubject: Re: Disappoinment in this forum   Mon Jan 04, 2010 6:25 pm

First of all, I want to say thank you to our mods. I think you did a excellent job in handling this. As one of the younger members, I appreciate it! Hug
Following GOD is the most important thing. Personally, I found Lisa very offensive. She was very rude to another of our members in a private message, that much I know.
Let us keep in mind that we are following a King! Homosexuals are clearly stated as being sinners. Not that we are to hate them, but treat them with love. But if a person came to our forum and saw some of the things that were being discussed, and the manner they were discussed, I do not believe that they would have found this a Christian forum.
Thank you for voicing your concerns!
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stlynz

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PostSubject: Re: Disappoinment in this forum   Mon Jan 04, 2010 9:00 pm

I have a few questions, then I'll let this topic die (as far as my contribution to it goes).

It's been said that the ban was due to justifying her "lifestyle", and that this isn't a place for promoting personal doctrines. What constitutes promoting? No one gets banned or even warned for saying I'm sinning by being gay. Is that the position of this forum, and so I have to accept it and not speak for the other side? Am I going to get banned if I make up my mind about what I believe the Bible says and mention that I've started dating someone? Am I allowed to post my God-written love story in that section of the forum?

If the answer is no, I'm not actually welcomed here. And that's your choice. I just need to know.
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PostSubject: Re: Disappoinment in this forum   Tue Jan 05, 2010 2:02 am

This is a really hard and really painful decision, but I believe the mods made the best choice.

Those who really believe in all of the Bible and take it as absolute truth and the Word of God, will agree that things such as homosexuality and abortion are very wrong.
If you have a person come to a Christian forum who thinks those things are right and won't listen to the other side, then what do you do?
If you have someone join a forum who doesn't think the Bible is all true, who takes some beliefs from pagan systems, and who condones almost everything that Christians say is wrong, then it gets hard to know what to do. You want to let that person stay in order to be a witness to them and show them what the Bible says, but if that person is not willing to listen to anything and only causes trouble, then is it really edifying to keep them on?

I don't mind having good discussions and real debates over issues like gay marriage and abortion, but if this forum is for the strengthening and encouragement of Christians, then it's not logical to keep someone on who only makes trouble. It's also hard to encourage someone in Christ when you are afraid to post "the Bible says this is wrong" for fear of being snapped at.
Is it edifying anyone to have to shy away from calling abortion wrong? Is it a good thing for us to be afraid to post what is right and wrong?

I found it hard to keep a sweet spirit in talking to Lisa because she did offend me. I wanted to clear things up for myself with her via PM, so I asked her a few questions and found out a lot that made me really sad. My heart aches for her now and I wish like everything that I could share with her the true sweetness of the gospel.

Some may have been offended by her being banned, some may have been offended by her being here, but I think we just need to pray for her. She has been so blinded and led to believe so many lies, it makes me want to cry for her. She doesn't know what state she's in, but she desperately needs God and needs our prayers for her.

One last thing, not everyone is going to be satisfied at the end of this. Some people are going to be happy, some people are going to be offended and leave. Not everyone is going to be happy, and that's ok. The Mods and Admins made the decision that they believe is right before God, whether or not everyone is going to like it or agree with it. Personally, I fully support our modding team and I think they did what was right.
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PostSubject: Re: Disappoinment in this forum   Tue Jan 05, 2010 2:16 am

RebeccaMc wrote:
Personally, I fully support our modding team and I think they did what was right.

I agree.
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PostSubject: Re: Disappoinment in this forum   Tue Jan 05, 2010 3:00 am

Honestly. I think y'all are over reacting about this situation.

Both sides, The people who don't think she needed to be banned well, what she did maybe not. but her 'comment' I can see needing some correction and if shes not willing to listen to what we ask for her I can understand what they did. - and what upsets me is it seems like if anyone thought about it. it would have been so obviously to see she wasn't happy and was still trying to convince herself of what she believed if not she wouldn't have been trying convince us of it so much. If someone is content in what they believe they don't feel the need to always try to convince everyone else of it... in my opinion. anyways, Point being if she couldn't have done what the people in charge asked I can understand what happened. Rather or not she offended people doesn't really matter honestly.


Im with ER, I'm one of the more 'liberal' members and often disagree with people and the rules on forums. But I still have to obey them because I'm not in charge. its not congress if someone asks you to not discuss something you have to do so.

And on another note. You all know our mod team and by that I mean Liz, Brittany and Katy. And you know that they are not mean or illogical people and you guys should take it easy. Because they are doing what they believed was right for us. they prayed about it and made this choice based on what they thought was best as far as I can tell so.
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PostSubject: Re: Disappoinment in this forum   Tue Jan 05, 2010 12:04 pm

LeesBeth wrote:
And on another note. You all know our mod team and by that I mean Liz, Brittany and Katy.

And Larissa (Sparkling4Him) and Heidi Wink

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PostSubject: Re: Disappoinment in this forum   Tue Jan 05, 2010 12:22 pm

Good point, Beth Smile
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PostSubject: Re: Disappoinment in this forum   Tue Jan 05, 2010 4:03 pm

ahh, I can never remember who is mod I wanted to say ER was but ya Razz
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PostSubject: Re: Disappoinment in this forum   Tue Jan 05, 2010 4:40 pm

Nope, I'm not a mod! Smile
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