So... forgive me if I provide weird background. I promise there is a love story in here somewhere.
Tabetha and I met our junior year of high school. We had the same home room and our lockers were two apart. She walked in late and everyone noticed her. She has cerebral palsy so she walks 'funny.' I never knew how to 'approach' people with disabilities so I kinda ignored her but when her locker wouldn't open, I just had to help her. A couple days later I noticed she was sitting by herself in the cafeteria. I thought of sitting with her, but the 'prep' group went over to her table... the infamous induction ceremony. They did not accept her, and in a few days she was alone again. She remembers the day well, though I do not, when I first asked if I could eat lunch with her. She remembers that she had a lot of chocolate in her lunch box and that I said, "Wow! You must like chocolate."
Over the next two years we somehow became good friends. It started with Point of Grace. Somehow we both found out we loved Point of Grace. Somewhere along the line we became nigh inseperable. We would call each other every day even when we saw each other in school. I started going with her to her therapy sessions and was there when she walked down stairs all by herself. That day was the focus of my high school graduation speech.
She went with me to Cedarville for my first day of college. I went with her to her first day at Malone. We loved surprising each other and just being with each other whenever we could. Our respective dorm rooms were covered with pictures of us. She lived with my family when her family kicked her out. She was practically a sister to me.
In 2005, she started mentioning a young man named Steven, from her college in Ohio. On June, 24, 2005, I received a call that she and Steven were dating. I was not happy. (lol).
In 2006, I was at Bible school still, and was doing a friend's hair. I received a call, "Hey Jess. I had a question for you. Would you be my maid of honor?" I screamed. One of the few times in my life I have screamed for joy.
That break we went to David's Bridal. I was there when she picked out her dress. I tried on the bridesmaid dresses. She flew up to New York to help discuss wedding plans. A couple months later, she told me she had given the ring back.
The last three years have been rough for us. We had a huge falling out over Steven back in November 2007 (funny how you remember dates like that). We went without speaking to each other for months. She had major surgery to straighten her legs in December 08. I went up to Ohio in January to see how she was. In that visit, I realized the friendship that we had lost. Here is a woman who I once called my best friend, and for some reason I was angry with her, yet here she was joyful, even with her legs barred and immobilized. What I friend I had! What I friend I had lost.
I saw her again in June. We went out for dinner to the Greek restaurant where she and Steve started dating. We sat there for hours with Amanda and my sister, Jennifer. I realized again what an amazing thing we once had and it hurt. We agreed to start over.
At 10:45 last night I got a phone call. I knew what is was the moment she texted me to ask if I was awake. This is the story of her engagement. Her second one.
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June 24, 2009 marked their four year dating anniversary. One of Steven's roommates had let it slip that he should be getting engaged soon. When Steven said that he wanted her to cross off all plans for their anniversary, she figured he was going to propose. He came over to her apartment to pick her up but first they wanted to look through their 'memory boxes.' Tabetha was waiting... the old engagement ring was at the bottom of the memory box. She figured that once Steven got to the bottom of the box he would propose. She got so antsy and excited about getting to the bottom that Steven finished looking through the box and she didn't even realize that the ring wasn't there.
After they looked through the memory boxes, they were supposed to go back to Steven's place. Well, on the way back, he conveniently decides to change plans and visit all of the significant places in their relationship. They drove to the parking lot of the Greek restaurant and talked. She thought
No, he wouldn't do it here. They drove to the park where they spent much of their relationship talking and walking together. Then, they went back to the college campus. When they got to each spot Tabetha thought, "Oh! He is going to do it here!... Ok, maybe not."
They returned to her apartment to get ready for a really fancy dinner. They both got all dressed up and watched a movie while Tab's hair dried. She thought,
He better not propose during a movie. That would just be stupid. So, they go to dinner. At this point, Tabetha is very anxious about finding this ring. She excuses herself to the bathroom and while she is in the bathroom thinks,
This is the perfect time for him to slip it in my drink or my food or something. So when she got back to the table she carefully took a drink and started to 'nonchalantly' play with her food. All the while, she is looking for the ring. Then Steven says, "Let's have dessert." So she is thinking,
Aha! The ring is in the dessert! No ring in the dessert. After they finish, Steven says, "Let's just sit and talk for 15 minutes or so." Again, she is thinking,
Oh! He's going to ask me! He didn't.
They leave the restaurant and Tabetha said, "Now what?" Steven replied, "I take you home and say goodnight." Tabetha was beyond disappointed at that moment. She said it well, "I wasn't angry or upset with him. I had clung so hard to an expectation and it wasn't fulfilled, so I was more angry at myself than anything. I was really disappointed. I just wanted him to get me home so I could cry."
Through the course of events the oil from their food bag spilled so Tabetha had oil all over her hands. When they arrived at her apartment, she asked Steven to go up and get a towel so she could clean up before changing into her sneakers. (Her CP requires her to be in braced shoes as much as possible). He went upstairs and was taking forever. She had one last glimmer of hope,
Maybe he is setting up the apartment! He came down and they went upstairs. No ring. At this point, she is barely holding back tears.
As Steven turned to leave, she remembered a conversation they had a week earlier. He had mentioned getting her a gift. She had not received it yet. So, she asked him, "Hey! You said that you had a gift for me. Where is it?" He said he had forgotten it in the car. She offered to walk him out and get it but he said no, that it was not wrapped so he would call her when he was ready. She is trying to think of what exactly he got her because all thoughts of a ring are now gone. So, she waits for the call, ready to get him gone so she can cry and lament her bare hand.
She goes down to the lobby of the apartment complex and, as the elevator doors open, Steven is on one knee (thank goodness it was really her in the elevator!!lol) and asks her to marry him. She was in shock so much so that she didn't move. The elevator doors started to close, so Steven jumped up and pulled them open and pulled her out of the elevator. He got down on one knee and asked her again. She said yes (or else I wouldn't be writing this). When she looked down at the ring, she saw two. He had bought a new engagement ring and had kept the old one. Tabetha wears the new one on her left hand and, for now, wears the old one on her right. As she says, "It is a part of us. It is a part of our past. It is a symbol of where we have come from." Steven has asked her to wear both. "Besides," he said, "how many people do you know who have two engagement rings."
They are planning the wedding for some time next summer. I will not be maid of honor in this wedding. Tabetha and I discussed that last night. In fact, I will not be in the wedding at all. That hurts, but that is part of life and we are still looking forward to growing together. She gets two of everything and I will always be her first maid of honor
Subject: Tabetha and Steve 
Thu Jun 25, 2009 9:39 am
