If the enemy is in range, so are you - Infantry Journal

It is generaly inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed - US Air Force Manual

Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons - General Douglas McArthur

You, you, and you ... Panic. The rest of you follow me - U.S. Marine Corps Gunnery Seargent

Tracers work both ways - U.S. Army Ordnance

Five second fuses only last three seconds - Infantry Journal

Any ship can be a minesweeper. Once

Never tell the platoon seargent you have nothing to do - Unknown marine recruit

If you see a bomb technician running, keep up with him - USAF Ammo Troop

Though I Fly Through the Valley of Death , I Shall Fear No Evil. For I am at 80,000 Feet and Climbing.

You've never been lost until you've been lost at Mach 3 - Paul F. Crickmore (test pilot)

The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.

If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage, it's probably a helicopter -- however, it's probably unsafe in any case.

When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane you always have enough power left to get you to the scene of the crash.

Even with ammunition, the USAF is just another expensive flying club.

What is the similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots? If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies; If ATC screws up, the pilot dies.

Never trade luck for skill.

The three most common expressions (or famous last words), in aviation are:

"Why is it doing that?"
"Where are we?"
And
"Oh No!"

Airspeed, altitude and brains. - Two out of three are needed to successfully complete the flight.

Mankind has a perfect record in aviation; We never left one up there!

Flying the airplane is more important than radioing your plight to a person on the ground incapable of understanding or doing anything about it.

The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world; it can just barely kill you." - Attributed to Max Stanley (Northrop test pilot)

There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in peacetime - Sign over squadron ops desk at Davis-Monthan AFB, AZ, 1970

If something hasn't broken on your helicopter, it's about to.

You know that your landing gear is up and locked when it takes full power to taxi to the terminal.

As the test pilot climbs out of the experimental aircraft, having torn off the wings and tail in the crash landing, the crash truck arrives; the rescuer sees a bloodied pilot and asks, "What happened?" The pilot's reply: "I don 't know, I just got here myself!"

LOVBE it

That is funny!

Some of these are so true. Never ever let your plt. Sargent know you have nothing to do.

Grunt rules:

1. Bring a weapon. Preferably, bring at least two. 2. Bring all of your friends who have weapons.
3. Bring their friends who have weapons.
4. Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap. Life is expensive.
5. Only hits count. Close doesn't count. The only thing worse than a miss is a slow miss.
6. If your shooting stance is good, you're probably not moving fast enough, nor using cover correctly.
7. Move away from your attacker. Distance is your friend. (Lateral and diagonal movement are preferred.)
8. If you can choose what to bring to a gunfight, bring a big weapon and a friend with a big weapon.
9. In ten years nobody will remember the details of caliber, stance, or tactics. They will only remember who lived and who didn't.
10. If you are not shooting, you should be communicating, reloading, and running.
11. Accuracy is relative: most combat shooting is more dependent on "pucker factor" than the inherent accuracy of the weapon.
12. Use a weapon that works EVERY TIME. "All skill is in vain when an Angel pisses in the flintlock of your musket."
13. Someday someone may kill you with your own weapon, but they should have to beat you to death with it because it is empty.
14. In combat, there are no rules, always cheat; always win. The only unfair fight is the one you lose.
15. Have a plan.
16. Have a back-up plan, because the first one won't work.
17. Use cover or concealment as much as possible. The visible target should be in FRONT of YOUR weapon.
18. Flank your adversary when possible. Protect yours.
19. Don't drop your guard.
20. Always tactical load and threat scan 360 degrees.
21. Watch their hands. Hands kill. (In God we trust. Everyone else, keep your hands where I can see them).
22. Decide to be aggressive ENOUGH, quickly ENOUGH.
23. The faster you finish the fight, the less shot you will get.
24. Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one.
25. Be polite. Be professional. But have a plan to kill everyone you meet.
26. Your number one Option for Personal Security is a lifelong commitment to avoidance, deterrence, and de-escalation.
27. Do not attend a gunfight with a handgun, the caliber of which does not start with a ".4."

Those were great, Peter...some of them funny, some of them true...I'd have picked out mostly the same ones as David, though, so, I'm too lazy to go back and specify which ones I liked most.

Those are really funny!
Some guy probably figured those out after having muffed every one. (That would be painful in the military!)

Seriously.