Anguish

Subject: Anguish Sun Oct 11, 2009 12:40 am

God was speeking to me through this

God has been speaking to me lately about my mediocre Christianity. To many a Grunt that can be a practicing Christian is a miracle in itself, it is only by Gods love that he has kept me through this. But I am not where I should be. I have seen to much understood too much to not be able to continually hunger and thirst for my God. Self occupies way to much of my focus. Sure I don't have people close to me in my life that can see my struggle and help me through but that is not necessary when I have my God. Sure I go through things that test me constantly. Sure I am living a life of sacrifice right now on two fronts. But that does not mean that I can waver in what I remember to be my convictions. I am numb from all I have done and am preparing to do but that does not mean I do not remember what my God told me just over a year ago. The here and now is the proving ground.

Just me personally feeling convicted again. And I'm about to go out into the field for a week so no time to read my Bible. But I still have prayer (keeps me awake on post too!). God before my people and my people before myself. I need to stop being a panzy and dedicate all that I have to God. To wake up to the reality around me. All the lost voices, all the people in misery because of injustice that only my profession can fix.

Subject: Re: Anguish Sun Oct 11, 2009 10:48 pm

I've left this up today 'cause I've wanted to reply, but I didn't know what to say...I'm listening to that YouTube piece as I write here...

A lot of what you said is what God's trying to tell me, but I've been too dense to listen to. I'm not living the life you are - so totally separated from people and all - so the challenges before me aren't nearly as great as what you're dealing with...I'm not trying to pretend that I have the same difficulties! But, with my limited struggles, I've been having the same problems and failures. I'll be praying for you as you try to fix these things, and as you head out for thsi week-long time without being able to read the Bible...but like you said, you can pray, and that's so powerful!

Like I said at the start...I don't really know what to say...

_________________
...they received the word with great eagerness, examining the Scriptures daily to see whether these things were so.
Acts 17:11

Be diligent to present yourself approved to God as a workman who does not need to be ashamed, accurately handling the word of truth.
2 Tim 2:15

Subject: Re: Anguish Sun Oct 11, 2009 11:08 pm

Elisabeth wrote:

I've left this up today 'cause I've wanted to reply, but I didn't know what to say...I'm listening to that YouTube piece as I write here...

A lot of what you said is what God's trying to tell me, but I've been too dense to listen to. I'm not living the life you are - so totally separated from people and all - so the challenges before me aren't nearly as great as what you're dealing with...I'm not trying to pretend that I have the same difficulties! But, with my limited struggles, I've been having the same problems and failures. I'll be praying for you as you try to fix these things, and as you head out for thsi week-long time without being able to read the Bible...but like you said, you can pray, and that's so powerful!

Like I said at the start...I don't really know what to say...

Thank you, and from my experience in life everyone struggles with their stuff just about as much. God just knew I had gotten to the point where a bit more was needed to test me. If I could sum up my past few years it would be "trial by fire" in my Christian walk. God is leading me somewhere where all the weakness and self centerdness has to be burned out of me. And he knows shat works best on me!

Subject: Re: Anguish Mon Oct 12, 2009 3:29 am

vigilance009 wrote:

Thank you, and from my experience in life everyone struggles with their stuff just about as much. God just knew I had gotten to the point where a bit more was needed to test me. If I could sum up my past few years it would be "trial by fire" in my Christian walk. God is leading me somewhere where all the weakness and self centerdness has to be burned out of me. And he knows shat works best on me!

That's very true...God knows what works best on us. I'll be praying for you as you have a week without the Bible. One band I love is "Sons of Korah"... they literally sing the Psalms. I find it's an easy way to memorise Scripture, which is great for times when we don't have the Bible.
God bless you Peter

_________________
*Larissa*

It may not be your day, but it may be your moment

Subject: Re: Anguish Sat Oct 17, 2009 3:25 am

I think that just the fact that you feel anguished by being mediocre means you're not mediocre at all. Those who are mediocre tend not to think much more beyond going through motions, or whatever. They don't care that they are mediocre, they just are.
Be encouraged, then. Ha! If it were only that easy, eh? I could say it, and you would feel it. Right then. And I could be totally healed too, if I had that power.

Subject: Re: Anguish Thu Nov 05, 2009 3:31 pm

Wow... I didn't know what to say last time, and I don't really know what to say now, but you are a good guy.

_________________

I am a farmgirl with a mission... to get my chores done before it's dark... ahem!

You are most like Peter Pevensie, once High King of Narnia. As Peter, you are brave, loyal yet intelligent, and are greatly respected for upholding what you think is right.